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My First-Time Trip to the US as a European Tourist
Diary entry.
After sleeping soundly on the plane, I land at JFK airport in New York.
Everything is much bigger than in Belgium: the roads, the buses, the people. I spend five hours in the immigration line and when it’s finally my turn, am told to step aside for “looking suspicious”.
I knew I shouldn’t have worn my Kamala Harris t-shirt…
Two hours (during which an FBI agent read all of my blog articles) and a body search later, I am finally cleared and authorized to enter the country.
‘Murica, here I come!
The first step is to go get my luggage in the terminal. I am shocked to see that the luggage area is accessible to anyone. Incidentally, my suitcase isn’t there anymore.
I learn that stealing is legal in the US as long as you don’t steal for more than $950, so I am not allowed to complain. Luckily, I know America has a giant mall called Target where you can buy anything manufactured in China for almost free. I hope I’ll find European-sized clothes though.
I step outside the airport and duck under a trash as people are shooting each other with guns.
I jump into one of these yellow cabs and ask the driver to drive me to my hotel.
Unfortunately, he doesn’t speak English and I am not fluent in whatever he’s speaking, so no bonding happens during the trip.
After driving for a little more than 30 minutes, I pay the $1356 course and finally get into my hotel for a good night’s sleep.
I wake up the next day ready to eat breakfast but find out that the $400 per night that I paid did not include it. I have to pay $80 to access the buffet and an additional $20 tip every time someone pours coffee into my cup.
I stuff my face with all of the American delicacies that I can find:
- Thanksgiving® turkey
- Sunny D
- Wisconsin cheese
- Peanut butter
- Apple pie
- Fruit Loops
- Trump steak
- And a McDonald’s burger
